you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
