I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
