Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
