as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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