you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That was an excessively violent trivia night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
