Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I could have mohawked her pubes.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
