Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
