youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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