There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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