Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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