And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
