Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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