i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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