break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize