dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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