What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
