Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
