just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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