We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just tell him i said nine months
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
