If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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