i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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