when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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