but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
