Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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