JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
