tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
