Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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