I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We were destined to go to rehab together
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
