Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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