nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
