Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
