I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
