I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
