I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
