I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
