Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize