Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So squirting runs in the family.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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