Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
