Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
