What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
