dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
