Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
