let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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