As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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