I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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