Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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