I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize