well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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