walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
