Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The police scanner is talking about you again....
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
