ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
