His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
