I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
