I wannas sexs uuuuu
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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