I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
