The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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